FORT WASHINGTON, MD — A former journalist who covered energy policy for a promising digital media company shocked observers when he jumped ship and disappeared for three months earlier this year. Reports are now flooding in that Davis Burroughs, once celebrated for his cheeky blog posts on tax law, has re-surfaced in the nation's capital as a yoga teacher.
In an exclusive interview — his first ever — the Connecticut-born hippie who's never really managed to shake himself of his white Anglo-Saxon protestant upbringing said that he's just "going with the flow."
That much is evident by the length of his hair, which has now officially breached shoulder length.
"This is a rebellion, isn't it?" Burroughs asked rhetorically. "I rebel," he proclaimed, a reference to the new Star Wars spinoff slated for release in December.
Burroughs is quick to reference Star Wars at any time, in any situation, for what often feels like no reason at all. Experts say such a quirk mirrors a symptom that privileged males tend to exhibit while enduring a quarter-life crisis.
But Burroughs rebukes the pundits. Star Wars, he said, is multibillion dollar metaphor for non-duality, a philosophy of Oneness consistent with the teachings of yoga. Therefore, according to Burroughs, the series should be revered above even the most ancient Hindu scriptures.
Though his obsession with Star Wars remains, the all-of-a-sudden spiritual man is just a shadow of his former self:
- He ditched the Black and Decker blender for a Nutribullet (a surprise move given Burroughs' distaste for the product's spokesperson — asshole David Wolfe).
He curbed investment in J Crew button-downs, which he grudginly wore every weekday for nearly half of one-half of a decade. "I can't afford nice clothes anymore, unless they're made by Lululemon," Burroughs said.
He moved aboard Delphi II, a 37' power boat harbored in Fort Washington, Maryland.
The punny Burroughs said that while he is not sure what will come next, "the wind is indubitably in my sails."
And while he's busy tinkering with engines or trying to modify his salt-water toilet so that it can operate in the Potomac, he'll be publishing short musings on yoga, life, philosophy, and music as well as the occasional smoothie recipe — all right here.
If you'd like to see me address a specific topic (e.g. a yoga pose tutorial) please please please send me a message (firstname.lastname@example.org) or text — (904) 859-3735.